Poptarts
by cardboredbox
Summary: All of a sudden, everyone has a craving for Poptarts...My first fic with no original characters, and very um. what's the right word? Insane? You decide.


Poptarts

POPTARTS

(Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of Tekkaman Blade…I just like to bash em a bit. SO DON'T SUE ME, Tatsunoko! As if you really care about this show anymore anyway! *cries*)

Author's note: I did this while waiting for my math class today. I was hungry, and insanely bored. Therefore, this story really is insane, and it isn't very good. Why I decided to put it up here is beyond me! Maybe if I had given this story more time rather than just a half an hour it really could've been something funny! But that's okay. If it sucks, then so be it! Somebody has to be the black-sheep sucky writer of the group! And I guess it being me is just swell! ^.~

Darkon sat at his throne, strumming his metal claws in a bored manner against the arm. "SABER!" He roared. Tekkaman Saber appeared instantly before his master, and knelt respectively. "Yes, master." "I'M BORED AND HUNGRY." Darkon declared. Saber looked up at Darkon inquisitively. "??" "GO DOWN TO EARTH AND BRING ME SOME APPLE-CINNAMON POP TARTS." Saber was awestruck. "Pop tarts, master?" Darkon slammed his iron (or whatever Tekkamen are made of) fist down on the arm of his throne. "DO NOT QUESTION MY AUTHORITY!" Saber hastily stood up and bowed. "Oh, as you wish, my liege." With that, he left.

MEANWHILE IN ARIZONA, AT THE SPACE KNIGHTS COMMAND CENTER…

Blade opened one eye and yawned lazily. It was seven in the morning. He sat up swiftly and rubbed his eyes. "Man, I'm late." He said to himself. Suddenly Tina came onto the little screen beside his bed. "Oh, good morning, Blade!" She greeted cheerfully. "Don't worry, Commander Jamison gave us all shore leave today! Wasn't that nice of him?" Blade nodded drearily. "Oh…yeah…" He yawned, flopping back down into bed. Tina closed the channel, and figured she'd let him sleep a little while longer before going to pester him with her girly little ways.

Blade lay in bed, and stared at the ceiling. "Hmm. I wonder what I should eat for breakfast." He murmured aloud to himself sleepily. A smile slowly started to work its way across his face. "I think I'll go get some Poptarts…Mmm…yummy."

Most all the other Space Knights were still asleep. Star was the first to get up an hour later. She sat up and yawned, pushing away her thick, tousled hair out of her eyes. Blinking heavily, she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked at the clock. "Oh. I'd better hurry before they quit serving breakfast at the Mess Hall." She hopped out of bed, and paused. "On second thought…" She began, placing her hands on her hips. "I think I'll go out for breakfast today! To Hell with the rationed crap they give us here at the Command Center!" She marched right out of her room, totally mindless that she was still in her baby blue pajamas with the fluffy blue cloud print.

Mac was in his room making kites. (What else is new?) Suddenly he had this craving for sugar…and not just any sugar, mind you. But he craved of the sugary goodness that was the warm gooey filling of a poptart. His mouth watered at the mere thought. He put his kite in the humongous pile with all his others, and stood up. He was a man with a mission.

Saber flew into the nearest town, and looked around. "I suppose that grocery store is as good as any…" He said to himself, wearily eyeing the red and blue sign of a Price Chopper in the distance. Transforming back into his human self, he started walking.

Blade stared at the vending machine strangely. All the poptarts were all sold out. He'd tried every vending machine in the entire Command Center…and not ONE was to be found. Tina went running by, with her head in her hands, screaming hysterically. "They're all gone! They're all gone! All the rationed poptarts are gone!!" Blade's jaw dropped. "All gone?" He'd just have to go to a local grocery store then.

As he walked down the halls, he noted the hysteria that surrounded him at every turn. "All out!" Maggie sobbed into her hands. "Just one…was that too much to ask?" She wept as she slumped against the hallway. Tina continued running around tearing her hair out. She ran straight into Ringo's quarters. He was sprawled out on his stomach, snoring softly and drooling into his pillow. "Ringo!" She screeched. "Ringo! They're gone! They're all gone!" Ringo nuzzled his pillow softly and wrapped his arms around it tighter while murmuring something in his sleep. Tina began to jump on his bed hysterically. "Ringo! You hafta get up and drive me to the store! You know I don't have my license yet!" He pulled his blanket over his head in response.

MOVING ALONG…

Commander Jamison frowned at the empty shelf in the cereal aisle. "Not one box of poptarts…" Cain stood behind him, puzzled. "This is the third store I've been to…" He shivered. "_If I don't find those poptarts soon, Darkon will have my head!_" "Too late!!" Tina wailed, falling to her knees. Ringo was still asleep. He was leaning against a shelf, and drooling down the side of his face. "Quick, Ringo! We have to go to another store!" Ringo snored in reply.

AND SO ANYWAY…

Well wouldn't ya have it, every single grocery store in the entire world was all out. "Pop…tarts…" Cain groaned at the customer service at a Wal-Mart. "I'm terribly sorry, Sir…" The man behind the service desk proclaimed. "But we've had a shortage of them ever since the war." Cain's head sunk into the cold surface of the counter, and he silently wept. Tina had even convinced the sleepwalking Ringo to fly the Blue Earth to the far corners of the globe to find a box.

"Where have all the Poptarts gone!?" Commander Jamison exclaimed to the cruel and unresponsive skies.

LET'S CUT TO THE CHASE…

Marlow sat all swirly eyed over his research. Looking at the clock, he found it was almost time to cash in. That's when he heard the insane laughter coming from down the halls. Balzac was standing in a doorway, laughing his head off. "NOW I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!" He roared. "FAME, FORTUNE…POWER! YES, NOW IT WILL ALL BE MINE! THE WORLD IS MINE FOR THE TAKING HAHAHAHAAHAAA…" Marlow peered over Balzac's shoulder with a question mark over his head. A room full of poptarts…what was that man thinking? Lieutenant Macmillan must have spiked the coffee again.

SO THEN BALZAC SELLS THE POPTARTS FOR A LARGE AMOUNT OF MONEY AND RULES THE WORLD…

THE END

Author's Note: Whew! Glad that's over, huh! Well, I warned you that it was stupid and I was bored and hungry at the time. So that's what you get! Don't like it? I don't care! I really don't like it either! But tell me what you think anyway!


End file.
